This week Mitt Romney visited London for the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics. When asked how he felt about things he said
“You know, it’s hard to know just how well it will turn out. There are a few things that were disconcerting. The stories about the private security firm not having enough people, the supposed strike of the immigration and customs officials … that obviously is not something which is encouraging.”
So basically what Mitt is saying is, as the leader of the free world, if The Queen of England asked Mitt Romney how she looked in this skort, Mitt would say
“Fat. Fat as shit. If your ass had tree’s on it, they would be the right height, but they would also be fat as shit.”
In other British News, and American teen was teased for looking British, so they cut up her face. Actually, kids called her “Dumbo” because she had kind of big ears so, with the help of Parents and other adults Nadia was given plastic surgery so kids wouldn’t call her Dumbo. Now they will call her “Joan Rivers”. Nadia is a normal looking 14 year old kid who happens to be in jr high where kids of all genders and at all social strata tend to say stupid, mean, horrible things to each other. So naturally, instead of doing any number of non crazy things, a non-profit organization (run by full grown adults mind you, not some group of 14 year old plastic surgeons) Called the Angle Face Foundation, stepped in and surgically altered the face of a 14 year old child. Apparently the Angle Face Foundation is a group dedicated to helping the normal looking kids look like dickish androids. you know, like ya do. I bet there are some truly ugly people out there that are just ready to spit. The bottom line is, this is an important life lesson for Nadia and for children everywhere. If someone says something shitty to you, bend over backwards to change yourself to become something that they will approve of. Then you will be truly happy. Thank god CNN was there to make this seem acceptable. Dane Cook broke the Aurora shooting joke cherry. I don’t think people are even that pissed. I feel like our cycle of outrage at things comics at the Laugh Factory say has gotten a little watered down. It might be too soon. And Dane might not be the guy to do it. I think the first Aurora shooting joke should come from a kid that works at the theatre. “Ok, so gummy bears and a large soda, if you buy a small pop corn with that, you get a free flack jacket.” I am sort of offended that he didn’t like Dark Knight Rises.