I guess it’s great that Oreo is willing to give diabetes to anybody. I don’t understand why One Million Moms are taking a political stance that consists of pretending a type of person doesn’t or shouldn’t exist and if they do exist, they certainly shouldn’t be acknowledged by a cookie maker. Why are we still arguing about “gay”? It’s not like people are putting on big foot costumes and trying to get special privileges. “Where here, where big foot, hey give me a bite of your sandwich?” Then yeah, you’re like “That’s not a thing, you can’t just put on a big foot costume and start wanting to take bites of peoples sandwiches, you can’t do that.” Gay’s not like that. Gay “is”. The only reason that a bunch of conservative women would be denying gay rights is…wait, is it possible they are the Million bitterly disappointed and passive aggressive on a national level beard moms?
Tom and Katie split this week. I can’t begin to explain the magnitude of the impact this is having on my day to day life. Is the earth still spinning? Are puppies still cuddly? Check again. Go look at a puppy and confirm to me that, in fact, now that Tom and Katie have split, that puppies are in fact, still cuddly. (Did I just miss a chance to imply that Tom is probably gay, yeah, I did. That is because, basically, I don’t give a shit.)
Our Health Care bill Passed. It’s not perfect. I know, I know, don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. We really hate it when we use our tax dollars for stuff that doesn’t blow up. Maybe if the cure for strep throat had a little more Michael Bay to it, this whole thing would go better for everybody.
Obamacare is not the most important Supreme Court ruling this week.
The same day the court upheld Obamacare, they actually did something worthwhile. The Supreme Court handed down a half million dollar fine to CBS for showing Janet Jackson’s nipple for 9/16th of a second. Apparently you can’t show nipples if they do or could work. IF a nipple is functional, the way a women’s is, it’s like showing children murder after murder after murder. No, we do that. It’s like elevating vapid, pointless, talentless people to a level of celebrity simply because they are on tv….no we do that. It’s just bad to show nipples, They……. If it’s just sort of an ornament like a man’s, it’s fine. But even if it has been decommissioned, like you’re a women who has had a hysterectomy (can you say hysterectomy?) you still can’t show them because…..Children. I realize that seems weird, because like, the kid was eating there recently. Maybe even in the last year. That kid on the cover of Time could have seen the nipple on tv (if he was really quick) and then looked at his brunch and realized that boobs are…uh, cooties? So if you live in the land of the Free, It will cost you half a million for showing gods go-gurt dispenser on T.V. Get used to it.