My Thoughts on everything this week. The Summer Olympics happened. I think it’s just my shitty attitude, but don’t remember every giving a shit about the Olympics. I remember the first time I was informed there was such a thing as the Olympics. I had friends as a child to set time aside to watch, like, track and field or roller disco (it was the 70’s). And I remember thinking, “This is not my thing.” And I was right. I just am not into it. I’m sorry. However, we have to pretended we give a shit or people will feel bad or think we are in Al Qaeda. There for it’s best to try and give a shit or at least create the illusion of shit giving. If I had a water cooler to stand around, here are the things I would say to my coworkers so they wouldn’t know that I am a bad person who could not give less of a shit about water polo, Dressage….I kind do like Archery, ok. Anyway, this should get you through the week and then we can go back to living our lives. 1. “18 gold medals, can you believe it.” And then depending upon who you’re talking to “I bet it’s the bong hits, right?” 2. “Was getting my oil changed and they had the thing where there’s a bunch of dudes in pool with a volley ball and a soccer net. They didn’t have volume up so you couldn’t hear them yell “marco” or “pollo”, what’s up with that? 3. “Man, you gotta be pretty lousy as a person to throw a badminton match. That’s not how the great badmintoner’s through out the history of that great sport roll. Makes me sick.” And then depending on whom you’re talking to “It’s because they’re Chinese.” 4. “Yeah, what’s up with that.” This a response to the time lapse issues that NBC had to deal with in trying to broadcast the event at times when American’s would be able to watch.
No one was videotaped at the Laugh Factory saying anything horrible this week. Drag. We don’t video tape anymore. There is no longer tape involved. We just video. Sorry.
The Guy From Chick Fil A said that gay people getting married is in defiance of God. And then some people got mad and then some other people bought a bunch of sandwiches. In a related story, Carl’s Jr. has come out with the new “God will punish you for your abortion” crispy delight burger, hoping that a similar kerfuffle will ensue. If they are successful keep your eyes out for the WhattaBurger “The Earth is Flat and god made it in 6 day’s” Combo meals.
The Mar’s Rover lands tomorrow. We’re going to learn things about Mar’s that we never knew before. Like who did Mar’s have a crush on in High School. Is Mar’s Red Because of Spray tan? Is Mars really into Venus or is it just leading Venus on to make Uranus jealous.