This morning I’m making coffee and it dawns on me that at some point in the evolutionary chain, our ancestors (spiders, Lady Bugs, Etc) had the ability to walk on walls. Some where in course of evolution we dumped that skill. Douche bags.
The cat has no idea why she got Christmas presents, and she doesn’t seem to care. It’s a Ravioli press idiot!
This probably not going to be the thing that is my viral hit.
Jokes about the weather
The Really amazing thing about it being cold like this is the way that people pull together when it’s -20, put aside our differences and just hate our common enemy: God.
It's so Cold...
Cold Joke: It’s so cold out the saline in the witches breast implant has frozen and is causing her a great deal of discomfort. Try the Veal.
Celebrity Bong Hits.
At first I felt bad because I thought the TMZ Bong tape was a huge invasion of Miley Cyrus’es Privacy. Now Think it probably a strategically leaked PR stunt to make Miley seem more like her audience which is becoming too old to buy her albums. So then I feel indifferent. Then I realized this is a prequil to the Miley Cyrus sex tape which will probably redefine the term sex tape to include...
I found an online dating site where you can narrow down your search to just people who list their body type as “Used Up.” They really cover their bases. Somebody out there was thinking: “I want my baby to look like a bowl of oatmeal that’s been stabbed a couple of times in a gang fight. But there is no way I’ll ever find….Wait a darn minute! Thank you Internet” The simple fact...
New Clips on Rooftop Comedy
Nice Work Cartoon Face
If you hate child abuse, change your profile picture to a cartoon character and that will send a message that people don’t like child abuse. First off, it takes a lot of guts to take a stand against something that everyone already hates. So thank you for dragging us kicking and screaming into a new awareness of the reality of the world around us. “Child abuse is…bad? Are you sure? I’m going to...